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Taking a slow bike ride on lil’ red ridey, wasn’t too cold, wasn’t too breezy.. yet it felt chilly and shivery inside..

Listening to shuffly playing Forgiven with such intense feeling, within temptation..

counting down the short limited time left in Uppsala.. it actually sucks that 2 months is, really just 2 months..

2 months is really fucking short in a world where the clock never stops..

oh yea..

2 months, though short, could also be the best damn 2 months in my life..

yea?

2 months should really have been the most beautiful and amazing time in this chapter of the story book..

nah..

and so it will be firm now..

Things has to be decided, to be determined, to be made clear..

No more, shakiness, indecisive, bluriness..

Chicken? No more chicken.. action and reflection..

What if.. u knew that u were supposed to not let it happen.. but u unnoticingly allowed it to happen..

What if.. even though u knew that there is nothing out of it.. u still so willingly let it be..

What if.. it’s for the sake of the moment.. and there is no point upon what is after the moment.. would u still let it be?

What if.. u saw what happened.. and u felt so damn shitty.. even though u were not even in the position to feel a tiny bit of shit..

What if.. it is liked.. but the likehood has to be restricted.. and the loneliness would take over again..

What if.. all of this is just another class of chemistry.. where bonding of the atoms were supposed to be repelled for sure no matter how strong the attraction is.. would it still make sense to be a molecule?

What if.. without realising.. u realised that everything speaks about it, reflects it, feel so much for it..

What if.. u just cant look at anything else.. or think of anything other than.. it?

What if.. everything that appears.. u always see it.. shows all about it.. tells u about it.. relates u to it..

What if.. u really should let it go.. but really don’t want to.. because u can’t..

And so it is.. it could be it.. it is like shitting in the corner and let the flies go round and round it.. so that the flies would not come near it.. it is 12:34:56 09-10-11..